family…

its finals week and I should be studying. But I’m writing this haha.  As I’m studying philosophy I started to think about my family.  How important they all are.  I know I haven’t been the greatest son or brother.  At times I’m the worst at replying to them and come off like I don’t care.  Yet I catch myself all the time thanking them.  It brings me to tears how my family still loves me.  My family is the world to me.  They can hate me, disown me, or never talk to me (which i hope none of these things happen to me).  But I will still love them.  There will always be a special place for them in my heart.  My heart truly loves them.  Thinking about how hard my mom works for me to have an education she could of never afford herself in her teens.  Seeing my dad leave everything behind in Korea to start a new life here in America so that me and my sister could have a bright future.  To think about how my sister cares about me and truly worries about me.  To think about all the pain she has gone through without me ever knowing.  All these things brings me to tears and makes me thankful.

Family is important.  No matter where you come from family is important.  Your family does not stop by blood to though.  Its those precious people in your lives that will love you even when your grumpy.  I still have a couple of those friends that I consider family.

With this thought I want to adopt alot of kids when i have the mean.  To give those children a family.  To give them a mother, father, sister, and brother that would love them.  No child deserves not to have a family.  My family has changed my life.  And I hope someday I could do the same.  To have kids that would make a family.  In the end isn’t thats what matters.  Its about your loved ones.  I think Kierkegard puts it best “But the person who answers, “In that case I shall still continue to love you.”  Love isn’t a emotion but a choice.  To continue to care for everyone no matter how hard it is.  Isn’t that what Christianity is about.  

I just want to end with a Thank You.  For my family and everyone who has been a part of it.  Thank you.  Live life with Thanksgiving.  

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family…

its finals week and I should be studying. But I’m writing this haha.  As I’m studying philosophy I started to think about my family.  How important they all are.  I know I haven’t been the greatest son or brother.  At times I’m the worst at replying to them and come off like I don’t care.  Yet I catch myself all the time thanking them.  It brings me to tears how my family still loves me.  My family is the world to me.  They can hate me, disown me, or never talk to me (which i hope none of these things happen to me).  But I will still love them.  There will always be a special place for them in my heart.  My heart truly loves them.  Thinking about how hard my mom works for me to have an education she could of never afford herself in her teens.  Seeing my dad leave everything behind in Korea to start a new life here in America so that me and my sister could have a bright future.  To think about how my sister cares about me and truly worries about me.  To think about all the pain she has gone through without me ever knowing.  All these things brings me to tears and makes me thankful.

Family is important.  No matter where you come from family is important.  Your family does not stop by blood to though.  Its those precious people in your lives that will love you even when your grumpy.  I still have a couple of those friends that I consider family.

With this thought I want to adopt alot of kids when i have the means to do so.  To give those children a family.  To give them a mother, father, sister, and brother that would love them.  No child deserves not to have a family.  My family has changed my life.  And I hope someday I could do the same.  To have kids that would make a family.  In the end isn’t thats what matters.  Its about your loved ones.  I think Kierkegard puts it best “But the person who answers, “In that case I shall still continue to love you.”  Love isn’t a emotion but a choice.  To continue to care for everyone no matter how hard it is.  Isn’t that what Christianity is about.  

I just want to end with a Thank You.  For my family and everyone who has been a part of it.  Thank you.  Live life with Thanksgiving.  

Passion…

I haven’t posted anything on here in a long time.  But its due time haha.  I guess one thing that has been on my mind is life and passion.  Life is such a beautiful thing.  Alot of people give different meanings to life.  One thing remains the same though. We were born through a womb and will one day our hearts will stop.  From birth to the death.  We are living in between the two endpoints.  This middle point can be frustrating, joyful, painful, fulfilling, and eventful.  

For me this question always looms; what do I make out with this middle?  All I could come up with is to be passionate.  To take everyday and be passionate about it.  Passion can be something beautiful and disastrous.  With this said life without passion would be meaningless.  Why I say this though?  Cause without meaning and purpose to channel that through passion, what are you living for?  Just to breathe and live?  Then what makes us different than that squirrel grabbing acorns.  Aren’t we human?  What I would say though is be passionate about what anything that you do.  Whether that is playing music, painting, studying, teaching, advocating, and anything that you are talented.  Be passionate about whatever you do and if you aren’t, go look for something cause deep down inside something will hit your soul.

I am definitely still searching and finding those things.  I will always continue to be passionate about things I care about.  To pursue those things.  What are your passions?  Even what are my passions?  This is all of our journey that we take.  I hope we all find those things.

Good Luck!

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Life is beautiful…

Dang I haven’t been on tumblr or wrote anything for awhile but since its finals week, therefore i must post something.  Haha im so stupid.  Anyways, one thing that has really been on my mind is Life.

Everyone is living life right now huh?  Whether its going to school, making friends, a new born baby, memories, music, culture, relationships, dying, living, succeeding, failing, making the most out of it, being lazy, and all the other things that come with Life.  Life at times is hard.  It can be lonely.  It can be joyful.  It can be memorable.

All I want to say that Life is beautiful though.  In the midst of all that junk, Life is beautiful.  In the midst all that happiness, Life is beautiful.  Enjoy your life.  Cherish your Life.  Make the most out of your Life that is given to you.  Cause we only have a certain amount of time to enjoy it.  So as the Christmas season rolls along.  Reflect.  Because your life is beautiful no matter what you went through.  You are beautiful.  Your Life is beautiful.  It’s special and one of a kind.  God bless.

I have the best sister ever.  I miss her so much…  she is seriously 1 of the two most beautiful women in the world…

rindarhee:

We used to go trick-or-treatin together…

open Christmas presents together…

and go to amusement parks together….

Then there was a longgg period of time where we took no pictures, fought each other, and didn’t want to spend time together..

Soon enough, he graduated from high school,…

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seasons…

I can’t believe its fall but its like FREAKING a 100 degrees in california.  FML its way too hot.  I JUST WANT TO RUN AROUND NAKED EVERYWHERE… (that was just an outburst of the heat inside of me)  

One thing that I do want to talk about seasons not the seasons in a year but the seasons you have in life.  Seasons of joy, seasons of weeping, seasons of growth, seasons of love, seasons learning.  The question is which one am I in?

As I reflect on this I believe I am in this season of learning.  I am learning so much about who I am, what I believe in, what makes me tick, what gets me excited, what are my passions, and things of that nature.  One of my tendencies is force things to happen though.  I want to just keep moving out of a season and into another and what then happens is not good because everything is forced and it is out my strength and my will rather than God’s  Reading Psalms 27 made me realize though I need to wait.  In the last verse it says that “wait on the Lord”.  I just need to wait.  Allow God to move in my life and just receive.  Not strive for my sake but move out of God’s sake.

I have been realizing more and more, what I live for.  I live to serve.  Honestly if God called me to become a janitor I would totally be happy because that is what God’s will is and that is what will glorify him.  Sometimes I forget this and live for others or myself.  

Its hard because I want to do what I want and just be content.  Yet I know God has called me for more.  He called me to live for others.  Using the talents and gifts that he has given to me so that I in turn can give too.  I give because it was first given to me to give to others.  I just want to help.  I just want to bring a smile to someones face.  But I have to wait on the Lord.  On his timing.  Right now my time is to study hard get, awesome grades, and learn learn learn some more!  So that I can in turn give what I have learned.  In the meantime where ever I go i want to bring joy, hope, and love.  Let us wait on the Lord.  On his timing and not strive on our own accords.  God give me patience!

So far…

This year has been crazy…  I am so busy and studying so hard… it feels like sometimes I don’t have a life.  I just feel like I’m getting sucked into this eternal grind. But I have to remember why…  Why do I do this? Do i do this for me? or something else?  Remembering this is important because sometimes we lose meaning in life.  Sometimes we forget what we stand for and what we believe in.  In these moments of weakness its easy for me to give up and quit.  Or rather do I acknowledge that I am weak?  I am weak.  I do suck.  I do screw up but there is a God that is greater.  That lives and dwells inside of me.  Reading psalms 27 really encouraged me. That God is my refuge.  He will overcome my enemies (aka tests, work, study, and all other trivial things).  As much as I try its not me doing it.  Its ultimately him.  God is my fortress, my rock, and my redeemer.  

I’m not going to dominate this test tommorow but the God within me that gives me strength will help me in all I can to take care of it.  Thank you God.  Have your way with me.  

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i havent blogged in awhile…

Anyways i have been m.i.a from tumblr in forever.  I think I’m going to make an effort to blog more at least once a week.  So to pick up from what happened last.  I went through summer had alot of fun with Engage, Calvary, family, and Friends.  It was a blast.  God totally blessed my summer and it was alot of fun.  Deepened alot of close friendships and made some great memories.  

Now I am here.  Sophomore year of college.  I’m going to be an adult real soon.  I guess I kinda already am but not feeling it.  In about two years or so Ill be graduated from school and going into the real world.  Scary huh?  Life goes by so fast.  It feels like yesterday that I was just a kid and wondering what I would do with my life.  Thinking that I would become some B.A superhero or something like that.

Through it all though this change is good.  God has been stirring so many things in my heart this year as far as my dreams, visions, and goals in life.  Those things are really important to me because I want to make change in this world and really make a difference.  One of my heroes in my life is MLK.  He exemplified change but one thing I realized as much as I want to make change happen and want God to do an extravagant work through my life, the important things are the people closest to you and God.  

What has hit me the most this sophomore year has been a special girl in my life.  Sometimes we hated each other, other times we would never talk to each other.  We use to play in the bath tub together naked and mess around with rubber duckies.  She was my best friend when I was a kid.  When she got a better gift than me at Christmas I would get mad.  I remember we would get in huge fights to the point where I despised her.  I remember when I pooped my pants as a kid and all she did was laugh at me.  I remember when in middle school we would watch korean dramas and sit around for hours.  I remember when my mom got the call and found out she had cancer.  I remember her lying there in pain, hair falling out, and all I could do was watch.  I remember during highschool we would never talk to each other and mind each others own business.  I remember when she got her first boyfriend and how mad I was about it.  I remember how we would fight about who would get to drive the car and get in the biggest fights about it.  I remember how when I left for college she took CFR and made it something even more amazing.  I remember so many things about this special girl…

She has changed so much these past couple of years.  And truthfully I wasn’t the best brother.  I probably was one of the worst brothers.  Yet through it all she still loves me.  She is honestly the most beautiful girls I have ever met.  And I thank God that I can call her my sister.  And I thank God that she has been redeemed and that he has restored our relationship.  Over the past few weeks we keep in touch alot and its amazing how our relationship has grown.  And I hope I can be that brother that is always there for her.

All I want to say to all you older brothers out there.  Take care of your lil sis.  She looks up to you.  What you say to her will either build her up or break her down.  Love her as Christ would love you.  These relationships are the ones that you should be investing in, because when we look back on our lives she will be the one saying “yeah he was my brother that I love and could call my bestfriend.”  

Thanks for everything lil sis

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Dear God

Dear God,

I’m thankful.  Thankful that you have blessed me.  I might not be the richest, smartest, or best looking.  But I am blessed.  You gave me life and showed me the way.  I was lost but I was found in you.  You gave me a family that loves me and truly cares for me.  You gave me a sister who you redeemed and she has grown into a beautiful women of God.  You gave me a church that truly cares about me.  You gave me a spiritual father in Abe who showed me how to be a man.  You gave me a spiritual mother in Jen who showed me how to treat women and understand the word deeply.  You gave me a spiritual family in Calvary  who sticks by me even when I screw up and run away.  You gave me friends that love to hang out, go to 24, cartopia at night, and so many more memories.  You gave me missions where  I went to Thailand, Seattle and L,A.  You gave me love which now I can freely give because you first gave me.  You gave me an education at APU which will open many other doors.  You gave me a special person who brightens my day. You gave me… so much.  Yet I give you so little.  

I never want to sacrifice time. I dont want to give you my all but you give me everything.  I’m so imperfect yet you complete me and love me no matter what.  It is by your grace that I am saved.  I work so hard to impress you yet you don’t care.  You just want me…  Just my heart… Knowing that I will fail, knowing that I will stumble, knowing that I will forsake you.  You still love me.  You truly are my Father, Lord, and God.

Thank You

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